I started a joke~

I'm unhappy now, i really am at the moment. Not sad about myself, but sad about everything else around me.

I WANT TO HEAR A CHINESE RACIST JOKE.

I'm serious...yesterday we were talking in class. Since there was plenty of time before the exam was to begin, we naturally got into a group of telling jokes. The group was chinese. Now here's the part i'm not proud of, I told a racist malay joke. As i said, i'm not proud of it, but i'm admitting it now becuz i wanna get the feelings of my chest. And to add to my guilt...everyone laughed like crazy.

I don't understand why...why i don't know any chinese racist jokes. I mean there's plenty of indian jokes and there's a few malay jokes too. But 'til now i still haven't heard a real proper stab-at-chinese racist joke. It sounds awkward of me saying this, but i feel sad that my own race hasn't been stabbed at.

Now i'm not saying that i'm sad because i feel we're left out, as if we've been deprived. No, i'm feeling sad that we have not been touched by these racist jokes. Why our culture or race hasn't been stabbed at. And what's worse is it means that chinese have been making jokes about other races, laughing at them, giggling behind their backs, whereas other races have just been quiet and not stung back chinese...they've been peaceful. From my point of view its the other races that shud be respected for that, for not being childish.

I asked mom abt this, and she said the reason why i haven't heard any jokes against chinese is cuz i myself am chinese so ppl wun say it to my face. So i asked my malay/indian friends abt it, and they dun know any chinese jokes, and if they do know one or two, they are lame, mild chinese jokes. So are they really any good chinese jokes? Even my indian/malay friends have heard of jokes set against their own race, so why is it that i haven't?