Friday, September 30, 2005

Pieces of the Warren

This thought actually came to me yesterday but yesterday i still had exams so i didn't put this thought into words. Well here it is...


I really DON'T KNOW who i am



Yes, i don't. Don't worry i'm not facing some sort of teenage emotional crisis, i'm just realizing that i don't quite fit in anywhere specifically. I mean sure as hell i mix with a lot of ppl, but i'm not fixed. To me, ppl just come and go. It sounds sad to put it down this way but just take Thian Hao for example, in form 1 we sat next together, we had our laughs we had our fun, he was even my "big bro". But now? Where are we? He went to a bad class after form 1 whereas i went to one of the better. From there? We split. But does it bother me at all?

No.

I guess i just have a knack to leave people behind. Except perhaps for a certain few. As i said,

i am not fixed.

Sometimes i think of science, sometimes i think of politics, life, love, art. So now, i've finally come down to a conclusion to who owns these parts of me. My friends.

Ainaa - art, literature, poetry, music, politics
Ainaa is the person i talk to the most online. I can refer all my thoughts to her, be it poetry, art, music... even politics too, even to the extent of racial politics (ainaa's malay). Even this picture, yea the one which is the banner to this blog. She was the one who showed it to me, Hylas and the Nymphs...
Thank you ainaa, sO SO so so so much :D (marry me damnit! :p )

Jee ian - science, and how we scientific ppl can't seem to understand girls
i guess he is a new edition to my friend stash, he owns my scientific brain. Just the other day he was explaining Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity (great stuff :) )

Weiyan - owns me
Weiyan i must say is my second oldest friend, i've known him since forever. And he IS my best friend. Sometimes i wonder how ppl define a best friend. Is a best friend the person you talk to the most? Or the person you see the most? Perhaps the person you hang around with the most. Well if these were the definitions for a best friend then Weiyan is definetly not mine.

But he is.

In my opinion a best friend is none of the above, a best friend is a person you are totally comfortable with. A person that you can have loads of fun with. I hear stories of so-called childhood "best friends" who break up cuz of distance, differences, etc.. Well, weiyan lives in Cheras, and the last time i saw him was a few months ago. But that doesn't affect our friendship, not one bit.

Mel - my childhood; my laughter
Mel IS my oldest friend, i've known her since diapers, and although we basically didn't see each other much at all in primary school... she is my best female friend. I don't think there has ever been anyone who can make me laugh as much as she can, no one. I love her, she is my "cousin".

Lianne - my secrets
I think i've told lianne EVERYTHING. Originally i told her secrets because she lives far away and she's from another school so there's NO way anyone from MY school would know my secrets. But thats not how it is anymore. Lianne herself has had her share of bumps in love. Love is a strange thing. So whenever love kicks me in the ass again, i know that i can pour out all my feelings to her. She listens to the crap i get and i listen to the crap that she gets. We both are

love pessimists.

I guess that's it...that IS me.

Now i know who i am, thanks to my friends :)